Better for the Breaking

Since the anniversary of Sept. 11, I’ve been pondering “New Normal.” I don’t think anyone would argue that Americans have struggled, and in some ways succeeded, in finding our New Normal since that Tuesday morning, both corporately and personally. But we had no choice.

So many things lead us – or more often force us – into creating our own definition of a New Normal. Events that shatter the way we view the world. Events that shake the core of our security. Events that crush us, then suck the life from our reserves. Regardless of what delivered us there  – we find ourselves encased in a crucible, dealt by chance. Once you enter it, you will not – can not – be the same.

Glass
Melting…everything that holds you together is rendered useless and you shape shift…until the shaping begins. And you are molded through the fire. Gradually, gently, life is breathed back and a form emerges. Different, but what is created is beautiful, reflective and transparent… And though you may appear fragile, it is only when struck in the right manner…and the right velocity…and at the right moment. Most often, you are stronger than you think.

Pottery
Spinning…suddenly the ground begins to move beneath you and all you feel is the spiraling. With no point of reference, all sense of balance is gone. Faster and faster and the sculpting begins. Not through heat, but through pressure and repetitive motions of support, and when the spinning stops, you look nothing like you did before. Then comes the kiln. But instead of being reduced to ashes, the heat stabilizes the work that has been done in you. Its warmth solidifies it.

Mosaic
Pieces…everywhere you look there are pieces of yourself. Different sizes…shapes…colors. All parts of you. Some textures have never seen the light of day. Some are rough from over exposure. How did you get here? Carefully, though sometimes without the care we would like, the pieces are categorized. Organized. Scrutinized. Revitalized. And slowly, intentionally, pieced back together. A work of art unique to you alone. But if you look closely, there you are - all of you. More vibrant than you ever thought you could be.

And you emerge…learning to move in your new skin…finding new function in your form…and waiting for the crucible to draw you back in. Each iteration, better for the breaking.

Redemption

Redemption comes in many forms. Sometimes in the hero's fearless flight. Sometimes in an unexpected gift. But sometimes redemption comes in the return to normalcy from a once chaotic life. In the ability to take a deep breath and relax in the comfort of a place you once called home.

Sometimes striving for the "moment" can lead to overlooking the moments that count. The moments that remind us of what is good...and true. The moments that string together and allow redemption to settle in our bones and become woven into the fabric of our lives.

Boasting In The Mess

I am doing a Bible study about idols right now. As someone who has been brought up in church…the idea of idols and their place in relationship to God is not a foreign concept, so it has been refreshing to be presented with some new perspectives though this study. For a "seasoned" believer, idols so many times aren't the "big" ones. Satan is smarter than that. He uses the subtle things that creep in…things that are inherently good, but, in the wrong context, can become bad.

One idea from the study that recently hit home is how often relationships become “bad” when we use them to fulfill desires. Not that relationships aren't supposed to fulfill desires – I think that God means for them to. However, when we rely on them for fulfillment, rather than the One who provided them, things can get sticky.

I have a history of removing obstacles from my life when I can. When I was in college, I overdrew on my bank account because I was using this new-fangled card that allowed me to instantly get cash out of a machine – how great is that? What I didn’t think to do was write it in my checkbook. (But…it wasn’t a check, so why should I think to do that, right??) I did finally realize the error of my ways, after an overdraft or two and a heart-to-heart with my father. However, instead of vowing to responsibly log withdrawals in the future, my solution was just not to use the ATM card anymore. Made sense to me – and it worked! No more overdrafts for Heather. Well, that doesn’t always work in real life. Avoiding all obstacles leads to a very sheltered and shallow life with very little growth. Life is messy…and avoiding the mess isn’t living.

Today I was at a bit of a loss at the end of my Bible study assignment for the day. I get that we struggle with having our needs met through relationships. I get our propensity for relationships to become idols. I get how that can be destructive and why it is not a place that I want (or God wants me) to live. But I love people. I can’t sequester myself from them, nor would I ever want to…so what do I do? This was my prayer this morning. How do I keep from allowing “good” things to become “bad”? And how do I mitigate the possibility that they become “bad” – without avoiding, well, life.

Suddenly I had a new perspective on 2 Corinthians 12:9:

“But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

It isn’t that I should remove the obstacles that I struggle with in relationships (or anything for that matter)…and it isn’t that I should ask God to remove them (though I’d be ok with that, too!!). It’s that I need to live in the weakness – the messiness – with God. He will strengthen me…not only that – but He delights in doing so. That is when His power is made perfect. And it is by living with those weaknesses, rather than avoiding or moving past them, that keeps me plugged in to Him.

By the way – I did end up getting the hang of the ATM card eventually (online banking helps). So even though I’m not so keen on boasting in my weaknesses just yet, maybe I’ll get the hang of that, too. Or at least maybe I’ll learn to rejoice in His strength during the process.