Calling Bluff

I think that everyone lives their life waiting for their bluff to be called. Waiting for that one person to say “yes – I see this shiny exterior that you portray…but I see beyond it. I’m calling your bluff.” And I think that equally as scary as that is…it’s something that we all want deep down. To not feel like we have to have that shiny exterior. To know that someone sees through it…and stays around.

It’s really a paradox – the desire to be known and the fear of being known. And when someone calls your bluff…its just painful on some level. I don't care who you are.

I’m actually pretty good at pushing people beyond their boundaries. At seeing something in them and gently pulling it out. Giving them room to try and fail. And it's something I hide behind. Do as I say…not as I do. So, recently, I feel like my bluff is being called in this area. I'm being challenged, prodded, nudged toward giving myself the freedom to try and fail. Toward giving myself freedom, period. I’ve asked for it. I want it. But – oh how hard it is.

Hide your scars, hide your fears, hide your insecurities…but to be your healthiest, you have to bring them into the light. Name them. Face them. Live in them. You need someone to call your bluff.